The Sauciest Student
by Cornonjacob
Summary: The Hearty Italian Meal Hero wants to feed all of the cute Japanese heroines his 「special sauce」, and Fettuccine Alfredo all over all of the girl's faces with his sausage and meatballs. Bobson Dugnutt, hero name: Pasta Pony, can create infinite spaghetti with all the fixings with his Quirk, 「Lotsa Spaghetti」. He transfers to U.A. from the U.S.A. It's going to get spicy.
1. Fettuccine

"Good morning class," Mr. Aizawa said to the class, because it was morning and it was good, "Today's class will be a little unusual. We have a new student transferring in from the United States, so quiet down."

Immediately, indistinct murmuring could be heard from the students, which pissed Aizawa the fuck off because he just told them to shut the hell up, and they quickly shut the hell upped indeed because they knew their sensei wanted to nap and crap and there was nothing they could do about it. The door did its job and opened, admitting the new arrival into the classroom.

"Ayo wuss **「B」** oppin **「B」**?," the transfer student greeted in perfect Japanese because that's how they do it in Japan, "Name's Bobson Dugnutt, from Sky High Hero School of the United States. I deadass hope we can all get along."

As Bobson turned around to write his name on the chalkboard while flailing his free arm around and spreading his legs to assert dominance, his new classmates appraised him with a combination of jubilant fear and the admiration of the constipated. He was physically fit, in fact, he might as well have been cheese in a bag because he was fucking shredded. With Bobson in attendance, the only "test" in school would be testicular immersion. The man was so strong he might even be able to lift your mom. He was quite tall at 6'3, and carried himself with confidence and an aura that seemed to exude 「FREEDOM」. He wore the standard male uniform of U.A. High aside from his Timbs, which were waterproof leather tan boots. But the most striking physical feature of Bobson was his big stupid head, which was that of a horse, a supreme Aryan horse at that, with blue eyes and a well groomed mane of blond hair. Also he had two hands.

"My hero name's Pasta Pony, the Hearty Italian Meal Hero. My Quirk, 「Lotsa Spaghetti」 is fuckin' lit, allows me to create and control like a bitchass amount of spaghetti with all of the fuckin' fixings."

"That is spectacular," Aizawa interjected while trying to hide his massive erection behind his desk, "Your seat is number 19 in the back. Mineta, go sit on the floor where I can't see you."

And so Bobson strode all the way to the back of the class where all the cool anime kids usually sit. And when I say strode, I mean he fucking strode. Think about the world's most flamboyant flamingo augmented by cutting edge nanomachine technology walking to the convenience store and being able to understand human speech so that someone could tell it that the doughnut sale there was going to end in five minutes. That's the kind of strideatude this guy was getting, and Mineta was the one blocking the metaphorical doughnuts, so like a real American, Bobson improvised and punched him in the face with his foot.

Mineta fell off his chair, which is a huge distance for one his size, hitting his desk on the way down. Multiple pornographic doujins fell out, now exposed to everyone else.

"Haha! This guy deadass paying for vanilla porn!" Guffawed the transfer, and the rest of the class guffawed along with him at the misfortune of Mineta, for the laughter of Bobson resonated with the Übermensch deep in their souls. This was a well calculated and maneuvered play on Bobson's part, using the tried and true American strategy of asserting dominance and camaraderie by singling out the weakest member of the pack. Confident in his now established superiority, he T-posed and dumped five pounds (because the metric system is for losers) of spaghetti marinara onto the purple pervert's porn.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mineta cried out with the agony of Hillary Clinton making Pokemon Go lame, "THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT WHEN I ASKED FOR THE SAUCE!"

The entire class laughed even harder to the extent that Shoji was expressing unfathomable mirth with every single one of his tentacles, concluding the event in which Bobson became friends with all of his classmates except Mineta and established himself as a likable character in my narrative.

* * *

After an arbitrary timeskip of a few days, class 1-A was helping to clean the aftermath of a villain's rampage in the city, as community service is part of being a hero.

"God damn!" Bobson shouted over his breath, "This place deadass looks like Hiroshima!"

To his right, Hagakure gave him a look of offended indignation, but none of that mattered because while she can give all the looks she wants, nobody even knows how she looks.

The class had been at it for an hour, and were looking somewhat worse for wear. On behalf of his fellow classmates, he asked Aizawa if everybody could take their lunch break.

"Yo Ass-zawa! Can we eat some fucking shit?" Bobson politely inquired.

"I don't know," he replied, prepping up the most fucking annoying passive aggressive teacher joke in all of fucking existence, "Can you?"

"Shut fuck student commander, I am infinity pursuit gived you instant sorrow!" he screamed as he flexed his muscles and popped a boner.

"Lunch break it is!" Ass-zawa remedied, sufficiently intimidated by his student's physique and the many possible interpretations of whatever just came out of Bobson's mouth.

Bobson chose to sit next to his friend Tsuyu, or squat to be more accurate. He felt a kinship with the girl as they both sit like drooling idiots. Still not entirely comfortable with Japanese cuisine, he usually made his own American food, and today's was no different. He had to do his best with the groceries he could find in this new country, but he had managed to cobble together a cheeseburger out of three red solo cups, several Pocky sticks with the chocolate licked off, and a cheeseburger.

Tsuyu had made a bento, and she was eating the contents of the bento, which was food. But the important part was that it was made with love, and Bobson wanted a piece of that.

"Yo Tsu! I'll trade my big ass cheese **「B」** orger for your **「B」** ento!" He offered as if Tsuyu was fucking stupid enough to accept.

"No thank you, Bobson, I prefer my bento," Tsuyu replied, because she wasn't fucking stupid enough to accept.

In response, Bobson pulled a handgun from his pocket and pointed it at the frog girl, "I demand that you open up trade to the United States of America," he said.

He then enjoyed his new bento by eating it with a fork while Tsuyu choked on a red solo cup and had to eject her stomach. I'd like to point out to everyone that this is foreshadowing to the part of the story in which Bobson shoves his enormous horsecock down Tsuyu's throat because she chokes on that too and has to eject her stomach.

"What's wrong Tsuyu?" he smugly asked because he's kind of a huge asshole, "Feeling kind of _hoarse_?"

See it was really funny because Bobson has the head of a horse and the dick of a horse, and it can be difficult to remember that sometimes because it is rarely relevant and there is no visual media here, but I appreciate you trying your best.

"Hey guys! What's up?" greeted Mina with maximum cheer.

The studio audience began to clap and holler incessantly, it was time for the best part of the episode. The part where this pink motherfucker fails to mind her own business and shows up and it is incredible because she is a prime specimen, opposite of the basic bitch, the acidic bitch.

"Oops," Bobson stated as he tripped over his own penis and fell muzzle first into Mina's acidity titties. Both Mina and Tsuyu probably said something but I couldn't hear it because the studio audience full of goddamn weeaboos fucking lost their shit.

"Haha, I'm sorry," he apologized, probably not sincerely, "But hey, I've got style, I've got grace, I'm Mr. United States."

Upon hearing this, both ladies reached Plus Ultra moistness. In fact, Mina spurted, except continuously like someone's idiot child who keeps leaving the faucet running, instantly melting her panties and vaporizing the ground around the trio, sinking them into the earth. Tsuyu had squatted down and expelled several hundred eggs with the erratic ferocity and vigor of water coming out of the faucet and hitting the inside of a spoon the same idiot child is trying to wash, splashing in a flash of chaos everywhere that the light touches, which is a sin because that is the property of God.

"Real shit?" Bobson asked when they were about fifty feet below ground, realizing that his two classmates were hot for him as Mina's uncontrollable arousal plunged the threesome straight to the pits of Hell.

"Fertilize my eggs Bob-san!" Tsuyu hypercroaked, bending over forwards and removing her mate's pantaloons with her oral aperture of length.

"ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÜÜÜÜNNNNGGGGGHHHHÄÄÄÄÄÖÖÖÖÖÖ!" quietly moaned Mina. While her spontaneous secretions took the group down, Bobson's baloney pony pointed up, veined and throbbing like a phallus, which is good because it is.

Froppy did a hoppy onto the meaty woppy and it was sloppy but Bobson had other plans, he flipped her over like an obese turtle, a pancake, or both at the same time because he wanted to be on top, just like how America is always on top.

They were now initiating fornication. Bobson thrust his _dick_ into Tsuyu's **We** s **t Virginia** , pulled back, and thrust again. Then he did it again. He adjusted his grip a little bit and did it a third time. He repeated this action five more times before Tsuyu clenched her body and mind a little more. Then he thrust again but deeper. The balls were slapping now but that did not stop what he did next. He thrust again. He slapped the posterior of Tsuyu Ass-ui, and he did a Kirishima because he got a little harder. Then he thrust again. He thrust again. In God we thrust.

During the next few thrusts, Bobson shouted, "Fuck you cheeseburger slut you want cheeseburger too bad you get my cum!" which was completely uncalled for.

Bobson started thrusting faster and it looked like a Stand fistfight except instead of punches it was cock and vagina which were both mosaic censored because they are in Japan. Sorry I forgot to mention it. Then he thrust again.

"BITCH LASAGNA!" Bobson beamed as he creamed Tsuyu's insides, climaxing and reaching the conclusion of Disney's Penis and the Frog.

Tsuyu lay face down in the earth's lithosphere, leaking a fondue of semen and blood out of her ravaged moist machine, which was kind of unsanitary so Bobson sealed it up by cramming in several sheets of lasagna he made with his Quirk. Their coupling was so passionate and hot that it fried all of the eggs Tsuyu had expelled, scrambling her fertilization plans while she lay exhausted, sunny-side up. Some extra yolk dribbled out of Bobson's still hard-boiled peen and he let it fall onto his friend's face. Although Tsuyu wasn't an over-easy girl, she definitely wanted her classmate to poach her a second time, American dicks were definitely all they were cracked up to be. She just got laid. This is eggscrutiating. Omelettes. I'm going to fucking kill myself.

Feeling a little bit guilty that he took her lunch and then her virginity, Bobson hand-fed Tsuyu her own scrambled eggs with tender care and affection. Warmth blossomed in the couple's hearts, Tsuyu gently croaking with affection in the afterglow of their amplexus and Bobson feeling contentment and love in the wake of their intimate union, the two's eyes meeting in mutual jubilation.

"BRAAAAAAÄÄÄÄÄÄÄP!" Mina went, reaching the end of her acid levels, shidding and farding and camed everywhere.

To be continued


	2. Ravioli

"Golly fuckin' gee Tsuyu, can you feel my parallel lines intersecting in your tomby womby!?" Bobson bellowed with louditude while firing his Glock 19 handgun into the ceiling, pissing off everyone else at the U.A. dorms because parallel lines can't intersect, and because it was three in the goddamn morning.

The guy was pounding his girlfriend with his visceral crockpot cock, which was slow cooking with pleasure and pressure, simmering her clitoris like so many potatoes. They had exhausted thirty-seven boxes of condoms, and so Bobson had to step right over the Pacific Ocean to Washington D.C. so he could wrap his Peener McBeaner with the Bill of Rights.

"Yes Bobson, harder! *kero*." Tsuyu croaked like a very flexible and dehydrated man peeing down his own throat, or a frog, "I am ribbetted for your pleasure!"

" **PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!** " Bakugo Bakubellowed at one in the morning, slightly angry.

"No you," Tsuyu replied as Bobson ejaculated inside her with the fury of the winds and making a huge mess on the bed too because for some reason, the Bill of Rights of the United States failed as a condom.

And so Tsuyu lay there, making like the Titanic and having all the seamen fall out of her.

* * *

"IT IS A TRUTH UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT, THAT A SINGLE MAN IN POSSESSION OF A GOOD FORTUNE, MUST BE IN WANT OF A WIFE. HOWEVER LITTLE KNOWN THE FEELINGS OR VIEWS OF SUCH A MAN MAY BE ON HIS FIRST ENTERING A NEIGHBORHOOD, THIS TRUTH IS SO WELL FIXED IN THE MINDS OF THE SURROUNDING FAMILIES, THAT HE IS CONSIDERED AS THE RIGHTFUL PROPERTY OF SOME ONE OR OTHER OF THEIR DAUGHTERS," Bobson shouted, quoting Nathaniel Hawthorne, with the rising of the sun to wake his classmates who definitely did not get enough sleep. He was taking responsibility for the awesome sex he just had an hour ago and would have nearly every day, by ensuring they would not be late for school.

And indeed he was about to have the awesome sex with Tsuyu, who is still his girlfriend. They were in the dormitory kitchen with Tsuyu being punished for expressing interest in Japan, so Bobson had bound her hands so she would be suspended up on the counter with all the other snacks. The transfer student viewed his handiwork with satisfaction, as he had finally convinced le Frog to experiment in light BDSM within a few hours of their relationship. With Tsuyu helpless before him, he took the perfect opportunity to sit down and eat her cereal. He also stole the toy that was in the cereal box and the Box Tops so it was getting pretty kinky.

Mina walked into the kitchen, and it was awesome because the domestic scene of a couple enjoying breakfast drove her into a deep state of arousal. Her clothes vaporized instantly under the waterfall of acid squirting from her pink panther, which would surely have doomed us all had Bobson not quickly sealed the breach with his enormous penis. Surprise, this is now a netorare story because fuck Japan.

To Mina's great pleasure, Tsuyu's boyfriend's lengthy length entered and exited her like some asshole child who keeps walking in and out of the entrance to a department store just to mess with the automatic doors, except really really fast so imagine that the child was Sonic the Hedgehog, but lubricated because Mina's Quirk was lubricating Bobson's large Sam's Club member. So Sonic the Hedgehog was fucking around at Sam's Club, said store being an euphemism for Mina's succulent vagina, and going fast in and out of the automatic doors covered in baby oil. This is exactly what the sex was like.

"God can't help you now," Bobson said as he furiously pounded Big Pink, which was exactly as it should be for an American, who certainly would not be kilogramming her. And of course it was not just God who would be unable to aid good old Raccoon Eyes, as whenever one of the other students would walk into the kitchen, the horseman would squeeze the Minamammaries to squirt a calcium rich acid solution directly into the offender's face. Whenever she would run dry, Bobson would grab a carton of milk from the fridge and funnel it directly into Mina's asshole with a funnel to refill her. It is incredibly late to give a disclaimer of this sort this far into the story but to whomever is reading this fanfiction, please don't fucking do shit like this in real life, this is not how biology or human anatomy works and you'll probably go to jail. Mina, who is now the Whore of Babylon, I guess, could only ask for more of the regular milk and more of Bobson's man milk, both of which were entering her at alarming rates. She also called him "daddy" and begged for his "cummies" which made Tsuyu cry and I don't blame her. Mina had lost her grip on her sanity, awash in lust and desire that she had to wait an entire chapter to satisfy.

Everyone is in class now. None of the other students could handle Bobson's virility of the devil and the walk to school was so awkward that it just got erased from the timeline. Only the 「results」 matter. Also nobody could enter the kitchen and have breakfast so everybody was starving except for Bobson who was full of cereal and satisfaction, and Mina who was full of alternate sources of protein and also cum.

Finally, Uraraka had just about enough, no longer able to abide by her new classmate's conduct. She could swallow gallons of his semen he left on the floor because she is poor and needs nourishment, but she could not swallow these insults to her friends. This is an integral part of her character, traits alluded to by her first name. Kohei Horikoshi, author of the acclaimed manga _My Hero Academia_ , named her Ochako because it vaguely sounds like "choke a hoe" in order to foreshadow the part of this fanfiction where Bobson chokes her with his violence sized dick.

"Bobson, I am sick and tired of your behavior! It is shameful for a hero in training! You have no consideration for your fellow students, no sense of common decency, and treat us girls like objects! This is unacceptable!"

He only pointed at Tsuyu and replied, "Hippity hoppity, women are property," get fucking owned Uraraka.

As the Uravity of the situation sank in and she realized how much she just got absolutely dumpstered for being a godless bitch, her anus clenched through time as if to contain the weight of her ideological poverty, pools of stupidity syrup pooling in the squares of her waffles of mental weakness. Thousands upon thousands of anti-vaxxers cried out in a torrent of lost souls and scattered themselves in a fugue of hard liquor, no longer secure in their group's position as the peak of human asininity, supplanted by Uraraka of the infinite moronic. The only reason why she did not just keel over on the spot and suck the Phallus of Facts and Logic until Dugnutt Dugnutted was because dictator of canon J.K. Rowling showed up and tweeted that she had always imagined Ochako Uraraka as a Palestinian lesbian. Now she and Tsuyu are having gay frog sex while Uraraka refuses to acknowledge Israel as a legitimate state.

Aizawa did a big jump through the classroom door without opening it and started screaming some bullshit about a villain attack and how they had to deal with it or he would shit himself, and then he shit himself. Then the villain jumped into the classroom through the window that Class 1-A perpetually kept open to air out Bobson's overflowing toxic testosterone. Aizawa was so scared that he ate some Arby's so he could shit himself again.

"Ha ha ha! Everything sucks now! Why?" The villain rhetorically asked, "Because I am King Lear!"

The villain looked satanic, with red skin and horns and also abortions. He was wearing a wife beater because it showed off his muscles and because it allowed him to beat his wife with maximum efficiency. His big boy bulge was covered by a thong, which was a good thing because it was Real Hemorrhoid Hours. But the most prominent of his physical characteristics were his two very large and painful looking fists. He looked pretty neat.

"My name is Me-Fisto-Feelies, the anal fisting villain! Prepare to catch these hands!"

Before Aizawa could shit himself even more, one of Me-Fisto-Feelies' fists rocketed forward and socketed itself directly into his asshole, plugging the rectum and causing a fecal implosion. Pungent shit exploded out of Aizawa's mouth like in one of those awful hentai animations where a girl gets fucked in the butt and the guy cums 26.4 gallons of male semen instantly and the cum shoots out of her mouth and this somehow doesn't kill her. Seriously, don't do this shit in real life it doesn't work. It was exactly like that. But it was poop.

"MUDA-MUDA-MUDA-MUDA-MUDA-MUDA!" The villain shouted as he unleashed a flurry of punches that would expand every student's buttholes in the classroom in a horrid anal event horizon. However, his triumphant expression soured into the spoiled milk of despair as Bobson intercepted every single blow, none of which affected him in the slightest. For the first time, Me-Fisto-Feelies had met his match.

He could not fist Bobson because Bobson did not have an asshole, because having an asshole is gay.

Our hero slid his hand down the villain's thong and shouted, "NO HOMO!" before activating his Quirk, piling a mountain of spaghetti around his pelvis, sending him flying into the sky. The very uncomfortable feeling of sauce rubbing into his butt crack distracted Me-Fisto-Feelies long enough for Bobson to shoot meatballs at him, sending him even further. He had left orbit by now, encased in spaghetti, and no matter how quickly he manipulated his fists or how furiously he beat away at the pasta, he froze, lost in the sauce in the cold depths of space.

Me-Fisto-Feelies never returned to Earth. He became half-mineral, half-Satan and floated forever through space. And though he wished for death, he was unable to die*. So eventually, he stopped thinking.

After such an act of heroism, Bobson finally noticed that his stomach was a little upset from him eating all of Tsuyu's cereal. So he went to the bathroom to take a dump, and his asshole blossomed open so he could make a big poopoo platter with a diarrhea crappetizer and piss soda, and it was OK because he said no homo again.

To be continued

*Due to prior events in which Bobson cuckolds Death itself multiple times in the light novel by Cornonjacob, _The Time_ _Bobson Cuckolded Death Itself Multiple Times and Didn't Reincarnate Into a Shield Slime Hero_ , Bobson can grant complete immortality to anyone he chooses.


End file.
